…would be a can of Whoop Ass, or two! Denny and I have gotten together with his folks every week for two and a half decades to play cribbage. It’s been the women against the men since the beginning. And it’s always been lopsided on the wins. I can remember a stretch of about 3 years when we didn’t win at all.

We knew we had to do something about this. We were as skilled at the game as we were ever going to be. We needed something extraordinary, something to overcome the men’s blind luck at winning. Also, we just couldn’t take their smugness anymore. Talk about poor winners! Then it occurred to me that it would be a simple thing to do to actually produce some.

I grabbed a couple of cans out of my pantry of some things we probably would never eat, like 3 year old jellied cranberry. I measured the can’s dimensions and designed labels to fit. I used double-sided tape to attach them. I had fun adding details that made them look authentic such as warnings, barcodes, seals of approval and a list of silly ingredients.

I made my mother-in-law one with her picture on it and I also made us travel sized ones, too! Now when it’s our turn to go to their house I throw my little can in my purse and off we go. When we get there, Viv’s large can is already at the card table. When it’s their turn to come to our house, it’s fun to see her walking up to the door and taking her travel sized Whoop Ass out of her pocket.

It didn’t work the first couple of times but we knew there were other factors involved, like, maybe they got cold in the car, they might be too close to their expiration date, etc. Well, they finally worked. We whipped the snot out of them on Sunday. The label says, “Effectively Level The Playing Field” but we never expected it to work that good that fast!

Thank you, Whoop Ass, thank you.